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It helps them feel special and more at ease and makes you feel more calm and confident because you have diverted your focus away from yourself. The language you use is very powerful and affects the other person. Imagine having a date with someone if every other word they used were ones like: You'd feel pretty terrible after such a date because of the subliminal effect words have on our consciousness. Even if your date was describing, say, her sister, the overwhelmingly negative effect of the words would start to impact how you feel.

Sprinkle your language with 'happy words' like "pleased, relaxed, comfortable, interesting, exciting, thrilled," and so on - pretty soon your date will start to feel good and this will make them feel good about you.

Lack of dating confidence can also be described as 'dating anxiety' and the antidote to anxiety? Why, calm, of course. Before your date, take time out to relax and breathe deeply remember that breathing out a fraction slower than you breathe in calms you down.

Listen to a relaxation CD and as you do so, imagine actually being on the date and feeling super-calm but excited enough to be engaged in the experience. Being more relaxed and calm during your date will allow you to feel more spontaneous, relaxed, and playful, all of which means you have more fun and increase the likelihood you'll come across as more attractive. If you've prepared a meal for your date or spent an hour getting ready and they don't acknowledge this, it can feel like a slap in the face.

You might offer something like: Ultimately, dating should be fun and relaxed. The more open you are to having a great time, even if the chemistry isn't there, the more you can still ensure you have a positively memorable time. And if the chemistry is there So what about Dave's date?

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Well, Sue arrived, almost immediately apologized for how drunk she'd been at the party, and proceeded to interest Dave so much by telling him lots of funny stories about the 'crazy day' she'd just had that he plain forgot to be nervous at all, making any thoughts of 'dating confidence' a total non-issue. I, being his flatmate at the time, was relieved to hear how well his date had gone. Click here to get regular confidence boosts in your email, hand crafted by our co-founder Mark Tyrrell.

Psychology is my passion. I've been a psychotherapist trainer since , specializing in brief, solution focused approaches. I now teach practitioners all over the world via our online courses. You can read more about me here. If you'd like some extra help around Inflate Your Dating Confidence my company Uncommon Knowledge provides a huge library of hypnosis sessions through Hypnosis Downloads.

I have helped create all the sessions there and have listed related downloads below. Please let me know in the comments section below how you get on.


  • 1. Let bad experiences go!
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  • How to Date When Your Self-Esteem Isn’t So Great.

View the discussion thread. Get help unlike any other from Mark Tyrrell , therapist and co-founder of Uncommon Knowledge. Bite-sized self confidence tips straight to your inbox that you can use right away to feel better. Nervous, Dave arrived early. To his horror, he noticed his palms were sweating. How can you be a confident dater if you're shy? Sure, some people are more naturally confident than others, but confidence can be learned.

Well, let me defend myself here: Write down possible topics of conversation before the date. Close your eyes for a few seconds and imagine seeing yourself as if projected into a movie looking relaxed and eloquently chatting with your date. Open your eyes obviously and forget about it.

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Now these ideas for conversation are in your subconscious and you'll find they naturally come to you if need be during the date. There are parts about dating that are wonderful—feeling cared for, desired, and liked. Getting that kind of romantic attention from someone can make you feel a lot better about yourself. An important part of dating is getting to know other people. But an even bigger part is getting to know yourself in the process. Calvin focuses on relationships and people when he writes.

Elevate your love life with practical dating advice delivered right to your inbox. By clicking 'Submit' you agree to Zoosk's terms of use and privacy policy. The Science of Love Dating Statistics. Calvin Men Freelance Writer Calvin focuses on relationships and people when he writes.

Inflate Your Dating Confidence

You can find her living it up here on Twitter and here on Facebook See more articles written by Saskia Nelson. From Single to Couple. One of the hardest things about dating is that your confidence can often take a beating if you let it. There is usually a fair amount of rejection flying around which can make you feel bad about yourself. At the same time, people with bucket-loads of confidence are often considered the most attractive and sexiest people. Transform you inner critic into your inner cheerleader As you try to shrug off your bad dating experiences, keep an ear out for your inner critic.

It might be saying things like: Fake it til you make it Any article focusing on boosting confidence, should most definitely include this little gem — fake it til you make it.

Remember when you rocked it? What would Beyonce do? Five tell tale signs to know he's into you. How to write a dating profile: