The reason is because girls are different from guys. Girls want sex, but only with the one guy they have feelings for. Guys want sex, and they don't need an emotional connection to want it, have it, or enjoy it, and we're biologically programmed to want to have sex with lots of different girls better for survival of the species.
Guys are in their sexual peak from about , and those instincts to have sex with many different girls is very strong during that time. Then, once a guy graduates HS, he either goes to college or gets a job, and either way, he usually has a lot more freedom, but not very much responsibility, and that's right at the beginning of the strongest part of his sexual peak. That's why college guys tend to go sex-crazy, and why so many of them have no interest in a relationship that would tie them down to only one girl. They want to go out and have fun and get a lot of experience, and they see a relationship as a hassle to be avoided.
Enough girls are desperate enough for some male attention that guys actually have a decent chance of getting laid outside of a relationship, making it even harder for the girls who insist upon a relationship. The problem, of course, is that most girls always want a relationship, and they don't want to wait that long to get one. The solution is this: The popular, confident guys have lots of options to get laid, and they don't want a relationship, but the shy guys usually do, and will be a better boyfriend anyway.
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The only downside is that you might have to take a lot more initiative to get the relationship rolling. They're mostly past their party phase, and more likely to be interested in a real relationship. Finally, know all of this going in, and know that you're going to have to meet a bunch of guys along the way, and that your job is to filter out and let go of all of the guys who just want sex from you, and only put your energies into guys who actually want a relationship. How do you know the difference? The guys who just want sex will mostly lose interest and move on, and the guys who want a relationship will jump at the chance to be in one with you.
There are two major reasons for this and only one of these has to do with you.
Do you think GAG should combine these topics?
I will start with the one that has nothing to do with you. In todays young dating world, girls generally go for guys who display alpha characteristics and sleep with them quite easily since they are attracted to them and feel that there will be no consequences to their actions - ie, people try not to slut-shame much, female sexual liberation, etc. This combined with recently popularized game had made it easier for a lot of men to get laid without committing to the girl, or more recently, even getting to know her.
I can attest that my friends and I take a girl out and bed her on the same night. This happens almost every time and as a result, we have come to expect it. If a girl doesn't sleep with us on the first night, we toss her aside and go for another thinking she's too much work without any guarantee of results. Or worse, she might be banging other guys and trying to friend-zone us. If the kind of guys that you are attracted to are alpha's or gamers, well, you have your answer right there. If you don't give the polite and good guys a chance, this will keep happening to you and you'l wake up at 30 wondering why you're single and still hitting the clubs going home with guys that treat you like a used car.
So for almost all women, there will be more men out there who want to hook up then date you. This is just reality. For one, the relationship guys find relationships and are then off the market for a long period of time. Hook-up oriented guys are -always- looking for hook ups. Second, guys who are young and confident about hitting on girls are more likely to prefer hooking up, shyer guys are more likely to want a relationship. If you are good looking, the guys who are as attractive as you and your age are often not interested in dating anyone. Basically I wouldn't assume you're doing anything wrong.
The guys who would want to date you are a subset of guys who would want to have sex with you. As men, we have two very distinct sets of standards. Want my cock tonight? However, dating means commitment. Dating carries a tremendous opportunity cost for the sexually active single male. You are throwing away an unknown amount of pussy, of unknown quality.
So if a man can find sexual satisfaction while single, the cost-benefit analysis of a relationship is pretty uneven. In order for the percieved benefits to outweigh the percieved costs, the girl in question needs to be an absolute no-brainer.
Physical attractiveness, intelligence, sense of humor, core values, etc. Sexual compatibilitly is huge, too. Both are willing to sleep with us, only one is worth holding an actual conversation with. If you put out but get rejected, youre most likely annoying, or just to easy to pass up. I classify attractiveness into two categories: If a girl is beautiful determined by shape of the body, face, etc. Before I got married, I rarely found a girl that I respected enough to want to date. This has a lot to do with intelligence, hobbies, and ambition.
I welcome sex early and often… And any girl I am with should at least have the potential to be a romantic partner. The best way to avoid becoming a hookup is to not sleep with the guy unless he makes a bit of a commitment. In turn, they resort to this kind of bedroom behavior only with a woman that they don't have any feelings for. Therefore, if you find that the guy you are with is not being sensitive or just too aggressive, he probably only considers you someone to fool around with.
Some guys need to be open and honest, and then there are others that don't. When it comes to real relationships, the bad boys tend to act tough and not open up. So when a guy starts opening up to you after being intimate, you may think that he is totally into you. However, the reality is that it depends on what he is open about.
If it's his sensuality, he most likely is trying to get you to try weird bedroom activities with him because he doesn;t see you as someone that he would ever be in a real and committed relationship with.
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Therefore, if you notice that the guy you've been sleeping with starts to embrace his sensuality with you, you may want to reconsider the whole situation you've put yourself in. Obviously, every relationship is different. In fact, just because you hook-up with someone who wants to add someone else into the equation doesn't necessarily mean that the dude has absolutely zero feelings for you.
However, knowing that a pattern exists among men that bringing another individual into the bedroom could possibly insinuate that he doesn't see you as someone with girlfriend potential is something to always keep in the back of your mind for this exact scenario. As a result, be wary of when the guy you've been sleeping with has plans to share your intimate moments with others. Therefore, take it easy and only put your guard up when you notice any odd behavior coming from the guy you've been doing the dirty with.
Public display of affection. We all have our own opinions when it comes to public displays of affection. You either love them, or you hate them. However, when it comes to figuring out if the guy you've been sleeping with thinks of you as girlfriend material or not, it turns out all you have to do is determine if they'd be interested in fooling around in public.
In fact, showing affection is public can often be seen as disrespectful to the woman. It can come off as rude and invasive for everyone involved. As a result, if you are curious about how the guy you've been sleeping with sees you, just mention doing something nasty in public and see just how he reacts. Guys are quite simple creatures.
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The male psyche is a lot less complicated than most women make it out to be. In fact, one simple truth is that guys are not interested in sharing their girlfriends with other dudes or even other women. As a result, whenever the guy you've been fooling around with mentions bringing other people into the bedroom for some raucous behavior, you can be sure that he doesn't see you as someone with girlfriend potential. Therefore, as soon as more people are brought into the bedroom, you may want to run straight for the hills, because that guy you've been messing around with only see you as someone to be intimate with, not to have a relationship with.
A drunk man never lies.
In fact, if you want to really understand the male psyche, just get your dude drunk and see what comes out of his mouth. All his dirty fantasies come out to play when alcohol is involved.
Why do guys only want to hook up with me? - GirlsAskGuys
As a result, if any of those fantasies involve weird scenarios that leave you, the woman devoid of any pleasure or enjoyment, then he probably doesn't see you as someone who has girlfriend potential. Instead, he has placed you as someone he can fool around with and do all the dirty deeds with without any attachment.
In the end, this situation never benefits the women. Instead, it's best to run for the hills as soon as the guy shows any signs of being a tool. Men are not big when it comes to feeling different emotions. It has been ingrained in them since they were little boys to avoid showing emotions. In fact, men will often stifle their feelings to appear manlier. As a result, they have grown to be accustomed to the fact that anything risque in the bedroom could be a great way to avoid feeling things with a partner.
Instead of focusing on the things that they should like how they feel about a person, they resort to infantile behavior like focusing on pleasing themselves in between the sheets with anyone that will have them. Therefore, if they bring up adding more people to your bedroom activities or any other weird, risque fantasies, be wary that the guy could just be using you for his sole pleasure and never see you as anything more. One-night stands continue to be misunderstood.